Be Racist, I’m Bored (#3, Arrival and Bondage)

Cracker, before I go on I would like to examine the word, “cracker.” You see, I adapted the word cracker to describe you honkies for one reason, and that is because it is a good way to describe you honkies. A cracker (the one you eat) is brittle, pale,bland, undesirable, bitter, and often pretends to be sophisticated. You crackers (the ones you do not eat) are the same. Now an African American can be described in a similar fashion, as some sort of cookie. An African American is a double fudge cookie. In the same way cracker is used to describe a honkie a double fudge cookie can be used to describe us, African Americans. Double fudge cookies are elegant, bold, refined, sweet, chocolatey, delicious, go down good in your tummy, put ‘em in the microwave and they come out all melty and soft and your mouth is watering while you watching them go round and round in the microwave, and then you eat all of them and you gotta run to the store and get some more but the store ran out so you have to sue the store for racial profiling against an African American who wants some damn double fudge cookies. African Americans are that too. Double fudge cookies are clearly better than crackers, and I know you would agree honkie so in turn you would also agree that African Americans are better than whites. But what is my point in brining up the clear dominance of double fudge cookies over crackers, African Americans over honkies? I don’t know.

Being a honkie, which you are, I know that you are not very intellectually smart. So you’re probably wondering why I want you to do something racist. It’s simple honkie. An act of racism occurs and happens then I, being a political activist, and political action star, political action hero, go to the scene of the crime to diffuse the situation, like a bomb in one of your honkie movies where the African-American dies early on. When the American people see I, fixing situations like this, they think things like “Wow he would be a great president because he has great negative situation diffusing skills.” After I become president, I will forever fix the problem of racism in this country. I will separate you crackers from the rest of society and place you on a beautiful island all your own, some place called “Rikers.” Trust me when I tell you honkies it is the perfect place for you. I know many people who have visited the island and they love it there, so much so that they go back there almost immediately after they come out. So if you honkies don’t do it for anything else, do it for yourself, do it for a much needed vacation, and if that doesn’t motivate you, think of all the lives you’ve ruined, and the African-Americans you’ve enslaved, think of how for once in your life you can stop being such a selfish honky, Think of someone besides yourself. It’s your turn white-boy, go. Do something racist. Today. I’m not busy this weekend.