Now anyway, I wonder how far Moses would have gone if he’d taken a poll in Egypt. Pass out little straws to all the children of Israel and had them vote every time the almighty gave an instruction. Moses didn’t do that. See I don’t know if you know this, but Moses, Moses’ job was a decision making job, and as a result, Moses, made a lot decisions! Polls? What polls? You saw the Moses movie. I know I did, I loved it, saw it three times, ‘cause it was so biblical, and I sure as hell didn’t see no polls. I didn’t see any polls when Mr. Moses was getting sold down the river by his mommy, did you see a poll there ‘cause I sure didn’t, and if that didn’t happen, if they had taken a poll to decide whether to send little Moses away, well there ain’t a movie then! I didn’t see no polls when Moses was holding up that stick and parting that red sea so far. Moses was like me, Moses was a decider. You don’t get far by taking polls in Egypt. Harry Truman didn’t take a poll in Egypt, and look at him now.
Well anyway, I don’t like to get long in the tooth, so I plan on concluding, soon. You know something, I’ve been studying the globe, looking for places were I could show off my throwing arm. I don’t want to hit Iraq, not now anyway. I could never throw a pass to Russia, I love Pootie, I love me some Pootie. I looked into the man’s soul, did I ever tell you about the time I did that? Well I did, thought I’d piss myself, but I damn near cried. Iran’s looking awful nice, but that’s a battle for my friend, and In Texas, we fight our own battles. One guy that really catches me is this fella “Kim Jong Il.” Now Kimmie’s what you call a “North Korean,” what that is is French for “communist.” We have to stop that. We have to take democracy to those boys. I would take it there myself personally, but Rummy tells me the boys need to regroup first. So, I’ll take a page out of Nixon’s book. He taught the Chinese how to play ping-pong. I want to teach Kimmie’s boys good old Texas style pigskin, the hard toss, America’s other pastime. American football. Well, I wanted to, but poppy said I couldn’t. Said it was mean. Personally, I think he doesn’t want me to get in the hall, since he missed his shot. Anyway, I probably bored you, I’m gonna let you leave. In conclusion, GOD bless America, except the democrats, ‘cause I don’t like ‘em, the homosexuals ‘cause they’re gay, and the muslims, cause all the cool kids are doin’ it. If you ask why I don’t like the demmies, I’ll tell you why. Its cause they wanna take your money, cut and run, and leave your child behind, I can’t support that. That’s unsupportable, you can’t support that I mean, that’s just not American. It’s not American and I won’t support it. They’re the type of people who defend the freedom of people who want to kill us. But anyway, if you’ll excuse me, the pope is in town. I wanna ask him about this thing called a “holy roman emperor.”
To the American people, yours truly. Georgey-boy (the number forty-three version)
