Play Ball! Please? (#1) I call This My “Intro”

“Think fast!” That’s what old Rummy told me the day after I got sworn in, you know, made it official that I was the president of these United States. Why’d he say “Think fast!?” I’ll tell you why. Because he threw me the football, that’s why. Yes, you see, after the dinners, and the parties, and the dinner parties, you’ve got to go to work. The president has to roll up his sleeves and attack the problems that trouble the American people. The first order of business was the football, and when Rummy threw it at me, and I caught it, of course, I couldn’t help but feel all the responsibility that just got thrown at me. That was the one and only time I was gonna be the receiver. From then on, I was the quarterback, that’s the guy who holds the football and makes decisions with it. Quarterbacks, take the one down in Texas for example, I come from Texas. Take engine number nine in Dallas. Me and engine number nine have a lot in common. My job is a decision making job, and as a result, I make a lot of decisions. Engine number nine is a quarterback. His job is a decision making job, and as a result, he makes a lot of decisions. Some call him a “quarterback,” some call me a “president,” but really, what’s the difference? I won’t answer that one for you, I’ll let that one be food for the mind, you’re welcome.

Anyway, as I was saying, I got the football, and became the “q-b.” I wrapped my hands around its laces, and felt the warm embrace of the pigskin. I felt loved. That’s the kind of unconditional love that keeps you going. It doesn’t matter what the media says about you, ‘cause you’ve got unconditional love. It doesn’t matter what the United Nations members whisper behind your back, or what they say when you’re not there, it doesn’t matter, ‘cause you’ve got unconditional love. It doesn’t matter what a weapons inspector sees or doesn’t see, it doesn’t matter, ‘cause you’ve got unconditional love. Even a hurricane, no matter how fierce and devastating, can’t stand up to unconditional love. Unconditional love, now that’s the America I believe in.